15 February 2007

Do you deliver?

I was thinking the other day, as the "first snow storm" hit New York (which consisted less of snow, and more of ice driven by 30 MPH winds and sleet that instantly turned to sidewalk-slippery ice) that it would be nice to live where you didn't have to leave your house. And I realized... I do... So I set off on a fun little online search for life's necessities that could be delivered. And I begin to wonder.... do I really even have to leave my apartment?

Laundry - Any dry cleaning store worth it's chemical perc will pick up, clean (according to your instructions) and deliver your clothing to your door, sometimes as quickly as next day. They'll even iron your undies. Be careful, though... sometimes you might end up with someone else's undies... I guess that wouldn't be a downer if your ratty Hanes got swapped up with La Perla though....

Groceries - Every grocery store delivers, but the grand-daddy of grocery delivery in New York City is FreshDirect.com This is proof that God likes New York. You order groceries online and deliver straight to your door, with quality that is higher, and prices that are lower than most brick-and-mortar stores. I *heart* Fresh Direct!!!

Drugs - Of course the illegal ones can be pick-up or deliver. But I wouldn't know about them (*wink*). But if you want the legal drugs that your doc told you to take, you don't have to worry about taking that prescription she wrote for your yeast infection to the too-public Duane Reade counter. Now, you can get your Rx filled online, and delivered to the privacy of your doorman. Looking for some simple deodorant or condoms? Easy enough... FreshDirect.com (*swoon*) has limited drugstore goods which they're increasing, but Drugstore.com will fill your prescriptions and deliver to your door... and even email you when it's time for a refill.

Clothing, shoes, bags - You name it, they deliver. Usually free. Zappos.com has free return shipping, too... now THAT is love.

Mail - USPS has free pickup services, or you can hire a concierge to do it for you.

Books & Music - Barnes & Noble has free delivery of in-stock items within 24 hours in Manhattan! I love New York!

Movies - Lots of options here... Netflicks is the reigning NYC favorite. I don't subscribe, but my ex did. Whatever.

Meals - Which diet are you on? Or do you just want to order "heat and serve" meals from the grocery story? No problems. They deliver too. Of course every restaurant except the hoity-toity ones deliver too... (including Mee Noodle Shop, whose cold sesame noodles have some addictive quality that I liken to heroin on them... so of course I have the number memorized... so sad.)

I don't know! - Can't think of what you need? Hire someone to find a service for you! Anything! Any time! Love it!

Gifts for people - Yep, you lazy bum. You can hire someone to buy gifts for other people... Aunt Tizzy's birthday? Secretary's Day? Cute boy you need to send an anonymous note to? Hire these people and they'll find the perfect gift, and sign the card from you (or not). How terrifyingly accommodating.

Go to DMV for you - This one CRACKED ME UP. I always wondered if Donald Trump had to stand in line to renew his license. I guess not.... VIP Concierge, Inc.

Vodka - FreshDirect.com (*swoon*) only sells beer. So for hard liquor, you can have someone pick it up for you. And you don't even have to bring a fake ID to the door.

"Companionship" (ahem) - you know where I'm going here. Just make sure you use the condoms you bought from drugstore.com.

On the flip side, if you NEVER want to be home, you can do that too! Hire people to live your life for you and you won't have to worry about it:

Help! My toilet's stopped up! And I have to go to the Bloomies sale! - Calling the plumber too much of a pain? Hire someone to schedule your appointments for you VIP Concierge, Inc. (Honestly, though... wouldn't calling the plumber just take less time than setting things up with these guys?)

Cleaning services - a dime a dozen. Just ask any upwardly-mobile young professional and trust me, they'll have a recommendation for you. (Mine even does my laundry for me... How much do I love Eliza? You have no idea. In fact - confession time - I have calculated just the right number of undies I need to make it from one visit to the next. Yep, spoiled brat I am. But when your ex never cleaned, you have to compromise, right? Moving on...)

Man's best friend's gotta go - Aah, the famed New York City dog walkers.... Yep, someone to walk your dog for you. Also a dime a dozen to find (just about any "actor / slash / dancer / slash / waiter / slash / human" in town is also a "dog walker."

Pay your bills - Can't bear the thought of penning another check to Con Ed? No worries, hire someone to balance your checkbook for you... VIP Concierges, Inc.

Wait. - I love this one. You can hire someone to wait for services for you. Have a cable guy coming but can't miss the Kate Spade sample sale? No worries... these guys will send someone over to meet them and babysit your apartment while strange plumber-butt people fix whatever is broken.

Organize you - because really, when you need your shoes alphabetized, isn't it better to simply have someone else do it for you? Gotham Concierge

Update your wardrobe - if you simply can't be bothered to set up your own wardrobe, you can hire a Fashion Consultant to come to your home, check out your closet, and then go shopping for you. Just make sure the limit on your credit card is... well... non-existent.

Dating set-ups - yea, they exist, in case you don't even have time to troll Match.com on your own... they'll do it for you and set up a time, place, and budget for you and your soul-mate to meet. Just show up, with credit card in hand, and you're set to go.


1 comment:

Rio Brown said...

Wow. This makes me look me look absolutely productive :o) I may have to reconsider my resolve to never go to NY! I hate going grocery shopping!