30 September 2008

Mile one

Sometimes I get crazy ideas. Like walking 39 miles for charity. Or jumping out of a plane. Or getting a tattoo...again. All of which hurt a bit, one of which took almost a year for my toenails to recover from.

This week, I've decided that it's time for another crazy idea, and another thing on "The List". I have gone back and forth with this one, putting it on, and taking it off again. Honestly speaking, don't know if I'll be able to pull it off. But I figure that I'm not getting any younger, and this will *definitely* get harder with age.

I'm going to try to run the NYC Marathon next year. (That's *NEXT* year.)

This will be tough, mainly because I don't really care much for running. At all. But this is what I would consider a fairly minor hurdle compared to the fact that I'm fundamentally a lazy person, and a wimp when it comes to pain. But hey...why not give it a shot?

Today I started my rigorous training by running one mile. On a treadmill. In the gym. Here's how the journey went:

Mile 0.00: I can DO THIS! Yay!!!! (put cool music on iPod, plug in headphones, hop on treadmill. Yay! Inspiration!)

Mile 0.15: I feel great! This is awesome. And damn, this is a really good song, too. Maybe if I make it to a mile, and I feel good, I'll keep going!

Mile 0.25: Already a quarter of the way there! Breathing's tough, but so far, not too bad. Oh, dont' like this song... next.

Mile 0.26: Ugh. Breathing is really tough now. I gotta stop looking at this mile counter thing. It's depressing. (puts towel over machine display)

Mile ?.??: Wow, hate this song (skip) and this one (skip) and this one (skip)... let's go back to the first one, that was good.

Mile ?.??: Getting embarassingly out of breath... I've gotta be about half way done now... (peek at distance meter... it says 0.32.) Damn.

Mile ?.??: (peeked...says 0.35) Seriously?

Mile ?.??: (peeked... says 0.38) Okay, no more peeking.

Mile ?.??: (peeked...says 0.52) YAY!! Over half way there! This song is getting repetative and boring now.

Mile 0.62: OW!!!! What's wrong with my knee?!?! Where'd THAT come from?!?!

Mile 0.75: Three quarters of a mile. I always knew I was a sprinter at heart. You know... one day I will turn this into a marathon blog... "I started with one mile..." so maybe by the time I run a real marathon, it'll be 3/4ths of the way through the REAL marathon that I will feel this bad... (this is a lame attempt to keep myself optimistic, by the way.)

Mile 0.80: OW! MY KNEE REALLY HURTS! This is going to suck.

Mile 0.82: Hmmm... knee getting better... but my .... breathing... is not .... getting better.

Mile 0.90: Beginning to hate my iPod. Note to self: Get better freakin' running music.

Mile 0.93: Almost there! Just hang on... don't pass out now. Cute guy on treadmill #2 won't think that's cool.

Mile 0.96: Wow, it's amazing how far a mile is. Can I do this 26 times? I dunno... maybe this was a bad idea.

Mile 1.00: YAY!!! Took me 12 minutes, but I made it. I don't even remember the last time I spent 12 minutes in a row running.

The rest of my 30 minute workout was spent on the eliptical machine, which didn't bruise my ego quite as much. And yes, I fully realize that running a 12 minute mile is an awefully lame thing to do, and that publishing it on the blog will probably embarass the crap out of me. But I also figure that I'm more likely to actually accomplish a goal by putting it out there than to keep it to myself.

I don't know if I'll run a marathon. My knee still hurts, which doesn't sound like a good way to start this journey. But maybe, just maybe, if any of you are exceedingly bored, or just want to jog alongside one of the slowest runners in NYC, you can join me for a *short* run some day.

If you promise not to make fun of how slow I am, or how many times I have to stop to "tie my shoe," then maybe I'll treat you to a milkshake afterwards.

04 September 2008

Cube wars

Well, boys and girls, the moment we've been waiting for has arrived. I now have experienced the perfect example of men vs. women here in Cube Land.

Those of you who have been following this last few posts recognize some of the inane conversation that Cube Boys #1 and 2 are prone to having. I haven't even mentioned the dice rolling games they play for each others' lunch money (nope, not kidding...lunch money.)

But today was the full impact introduction of Cube Girl #1. Cube Girl sits in front of me, and sings.... and hums... constantly. The tunes vary, but yesterday, she sang We Are the Champions by Queen using a pseud0-Celine Dion voice. The girl has some talent, I'll fully admit, but having a conversation with a doctor about their experiences during 9/11 during a preinterview is made much more difficult when she busts into full-on vibrato in the cube in front of me.

I justified it by saying a) at least she hits the notes, and b) at least I'm only technically at my desk for a few hours each day.

Today, however, things took a turn. I got an email from one of my co-workers (and co-cube-mates) today (names have been changed to protect the inanely stupid):

The girl who sits directly in front of Beth was humming so loudly, I couldn’t take it. I gathered Paula and the woman behind me, and asked if they could hear “it” (referring to the loud humming). They can’t hear it from their cubes – but when they started walking toward the noise, we ALL heard it! The young woman who was humming says out loud, “I can’t help it, I’m classically trained as a singer!” Then, one of the women who sit behind us, asked her if she could stop – and she told her she does it because Cube Girl #2 is soo loud, and she’s not going to stop.

So apparently, singing is apparently her passive-aggressive way of getting back at another Cube Girl. Which of course is perfectly logical. (What grade are we in again?)

And so, boys and girls, we know the difference between Cube Boys and Cube Girls. One is immature and openly, shockingly inane in their overly-loud discussions. The other is passive-aggressively psychotic.

Yes. Cube Land. A truly wonderous place.