22 July 2009

Blisters and charities...

An email conversation with my sister:

Sister: Blisters are evil. Skin shouldn't just bubble up and fall off. Poor design.


Sister: I'll talk to God about it next time I'm in church. But I'm beginning to think that's not the sort of thing he's working on.

Me: priorities are irrelevant to dieties. it's not like God has time management issues.

Sister: I'm afraid he might just say FINE! I'll just start all over! and poof. We'll all be gone.

Me: at least then we won't have blisters.

In other news, I am running in a race! To raise moolah for breast cancer. This time it's a short race (only 5k, instead of the 39 mile insanity like last time.) So feel free to donate, or sign up and run with me! Click below:

15 July 2009

Do you know anyone who....

My jobs have been odd. I'll be the first to admit it. But that's okay, since radio / tv are full of very odd things, it sort of comes with the territory. The more odd it is, the more shocking it is, the more off-beat it is, then the more people will likely watch. So I thought I'd step back in time a little bit to reminisce about some of the strangest email requests I've gotten from some of my colleagues requesting help....

Subject: help!

you guys know anyone who has been attacked by a shark? i'm putting a show together...

Subject: Looking for guests
Do you guys know an overweight woman dating a really skinny man? Or an obese man dating a really skinny woman? It's for next week. I'm desperate! So far, no one has been fat or skinny enough!!

Subject: My boss has lost his mind...help!!!
I'm not kidding. Today he asked me to find a married couple, with 2 kids (preferable a boy and a girl under the age of 6), living in a suburb, who are about to file for bankruptcy because of financial issues that started with them defaulting on their interest-only mortgage after one/both lost their jobs due to cutbacks. They have to be good looking, cute kids, not crazy people, within 50 miles of NYC, and able to stay home tomorrow for an all-day shoot at their house. And available to come into the studio on Friday for a live interview.

Oh, and since I'm not going to be sleeping for the next 3 days while I do this, please have them be able to make good coffee too.

Subject: Need guest: Free DNA testing!
Looking for someone who has a baby, but isn't sure who the father is. We'll provide free DNA testing if they agree to come on the show and talk about it. (Oh, and we do this often, so if you know more than one person, let me know.) Would be good if at least the mom or possible dads were decent-looking, too.

Subject: Looking for someone with Tourettes
Need someone with really bad case of Tourettes to be a guest on the show on Tuesday to talk about their condition. Would be great if they could make noises on cue instead of randomly.
(wow. that producer didnt' do much research on their topic, did they?)

Subject: Snakes?
Doing a segment on using hypnosis to cure phobias. Need 50 snakes, prefer non-venomous kind. Anyone have a lead for me?

Subject: Vegetarian foods that look like meat
Producing a segment for this weekend on vegetarian foods that look like meat. Like Tofurkey. Do you know a chef or someone who can work with this? Need them to style their own food, too. (Can't hire a food stylist, so they have to make it look good...and tofurkey looks weird enough already. I Googled it.)


10 July 2009

Photo Class - my final portfolio

These were the photos that I submitted as my final project for my photo class

This was one of the rejects (it didn't work in the series)...but I still kinda like it: