Nah, life's not perfect... but who would want it to be? I do have my ups and downs, I'll admit (and today was no exception), but overall, I'm feeling like I'm in a good place now. Empowered and enlivened - ready to sculpt the shape of my future, and simultaneously accept what life deals out and go with the flow.
The only thing that's messing with my head is my dream world. (Which culture is it that thinks that the dream world is just as valid of a reality as the waking one? I think I read that somewhere.)
Last night, in my dream life, my boyfriend from high school was walking down the hallway in front of me, saying hi and schmoozing with everyone - a serious car salesman type of guy. And I kept trying to catch up to say hello, but he was walking far too fast, and the crush of people seemed to conspire to keep me lagging. It morphed into a situation where I knew I was being followed by someone with less-than-noble intentions. But there was no sense of dread - I felt like I could defend myself if necessary - but I called 911 anyway, and asked them to send help. They refused to send anything other than an EMT-in-training until I convinced them that it was more serious.
So I turned suddenly (hoping to catch my stalker by surprise and thus gain an upper hand) and the scene suddenly swapped to a burnt-out hull of a building in a post-apocalyptic war scene, where a group of "us" (I am not even sure what defined "us") were being held captive by "them". (Do you remember the 1984 movie "Red Dawn"? Wow, talk about flashbacks. It felt like something along those lines, where we were watching a guerrilla war go on in a valley below where we were holed up.) I don't remember being afraid, exactly, but there was a definite sense of watchful expectation - a kind of out-of-the-ordinary, building up of tension and the anticipation of an inevitable course towards an impending (and probably violent) action... I could smell the smoke, feel the gravel under my shoes, and hear the gunfire and people yelling as they approached our camp. It was startlingly real, and fascinatingly tactile... and then...
...I was awoken by nauseatingly mundane sounds in my apartment...
But lest you be disappointed, boys and girls, don't worry - today was 89 degrees, sunny, and it was National Chocolate Chip Day. And really, how can you complain about anything on National Chocolate Chip Day? I'm off to dinner... sushi tonight. Yay fish.