04 September 2008

Cube wars

Well, boys and girls, the moment we've been waiting for has arrived. I now have experienced the perfect example of men vs. women here in Cube Land.

Those of you who have been following this last few posts recognize some of the inane conversation that Cube Boys #1 and 2 are prone to having. I haven't even mentioned the dice rolling games they play for each others' lunch money (nope, not kidding...lunch money.)

But today was the full impact introduction of Cube Girl #1. Cube Girl sits in front of me, and sings.... and hums... constantly. The tunes vary, but yesterday, she sang We Are the Champions by Queen using a pseud0-Celine Dion voice. The girl has some talent, I'll fully admit, but having a conversation with a doctor about their experiences during 9/11 during a preinterview is made much more difficult when she busts into full-on vibrato in the cube in front of me.

I justified it by saying a) at least she hits the notes, and b) at least I'm only technically at my desk for a few hours each day.

Today, however, things took a turn. I got an email from one of my co-workers (and co-cube-mates) today (names have been changed to protect the inanely stupid):

The girl who sits directly in front of Beth was humming so loudly, I couldn’t take it. I gathered Paula and the woman behind me, and asked if they could hear “it” (referring to the loud humming). They can’t hear it from their cubes – but when they started walking toward the noise, we ALL heard it! The young woman who was humming says out loud, “I can’t help it, I’m classically trained as a singer!” Then, one of the women who sit behind us, asked her if she could stop – and she told her she does it because Cube Girl #2 is soo loud, and she’s not going to stop.

So apparently, singing is apparently her passive-aggressive way of getting back at another Cube Girl. Which of course is perfectly logical. (What grade are we in again?)

And so, boys and girls, we know the difference between Cube Boys and Cube Girls. One is immature and openly, shockingly inane in their overly-loud discussions. The other is passive-aggressively psychotic.

Yes. Cube Land. A truly wonderous place.

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