Masochistic Hair Stylist

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I got my hair cut today. And I think my stylist was taking out her life frustrations on my head... my scalp is still throbbing.

I'm not a wuss when it comes to pulling hair. For my entire life I've had long hair (except for one unfortunate experiment with the "short hair is easier" myth in college - and no I don't have photos. I burned them.) With said locks, it's inevitable that you have to be rather stalwart, since it usually comes with plenty of painful associations. A few examples that come to mind are:

• Boy on bus in 7th grade pulling my hair from the seat behind me. I caught him at one point and dug my nails into his hand. Yes, the hair pulling was annoying, but he suffered more than I did. Aaah, a feminist even then.
• Hoodie- or turtleneck-induced "rat's nests" at the base of the neck, usually occurring in the winter months, and taking about an hour to release the hair, usually accompanied by much swearing and the desire to take a scissor and just hack the sucker out (after all, who would notice? It's underneath the rest of my hair!)
• The classic "fell asleep with gum in my mouth and then it fell into my hair" issue. I don't even want to tell you how we got that out... but I will tell you I smelled of many choice chemicals for a few days.
• Catching hair in car doors or closing windows on a few choice strands while cruising around town. (And why is it that the hairs that get caught are directly attached to the nerve endings that shoot pain into your eye?)
• I grew up with a sister. We didn't wrestle, we pulled hair. 'Nuff said.

So the point is, I'm not a hair wimp. But yesterday, after returning from Africa (where the shampoo was as gentle as turpentine), I decided that I needed to clean up the crackly ends of my locks that felt more like straw than actual human hair.

My stylist (who shall remain nameless), started out well, even though avoiding catching the comb in hoop earrings seems to be a perpetual challenge for her (note to self: next time you're entering haircut combat, remove all jewelry.) But the pain really started when she started blow drying. As anyone with any hair probably knows, wet, sticky hands running through your hair is NOT pleasant. Add scorching hot air and it's enough to want Novocaine scalp injections.

Then came the combing... and apparently in style school, the remedy for tangled hair is to pull really hard until the knot (or the hair) comes out... preferably with a large-tooth comb that has no flexibility whatsoever. I wouldn't be surprised if at some point, she had a professor for whom having a piece of bloodied scalp stuck to the ends was worth some extra credit. This went on for about 30 minutes.

I was never so happy to be done with a hair cut. And I was never more perplexed as to why this torture would cost me $80 (and you want a tip for this????) My head throbbed for hours. And while I've been known to be slightly sarcastic in my humor, I am not lying when I say that I took an aspirin later to cure my hair-cut hangover headache.

I was thinking of dying my hair red in the next few weeks... but maybe I'll find a gentler stylist before I do that. One that uses a chainsaw or something.
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When you just can't choose pink

When they said "Pick a color", I just couldn't bring myself to say "pink".... this is the end game:
(at least it wasn't my hair... this time)
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Jobbity job job job!

I am officially (almost) employed! I just accepted a job offer... and it's one that I'm very, very excited about. I start in two weeks... yay!

Let's have a drink to new beginnings, new friends, new directions... Oh, life is most excellently good, ladies and germs... I am happy.

So stop smoking, eat your veggies, recycle... and smile.

:-)

And for the sake of being repetitive and annoying, here's my Africa blog again:
http://beth-in-africa.blogspot.com

Puter puter puter

Dang, not having my computer working is frustrating... but I've been making progress on my Africa blog. It's much longer than I had anticipated, but it's giving me a nice distraction from the annoying realities of life. Aaaah, isn't denial blissful?..... :-)

http://beth-in-africa.blogspot.com/

The blog is fun, and I hope some of you are enjoying it. I took WAY to many pictures, and am trying to keep it down to the interesting ones, but every sunset was more gorgeous than the last, so what's a girl to do but annoy the online world with it? The only regret was that I didn't have someone to go with me... it was simply too romantic for words. Oh well - no sense crying over lost causes. I'll just have to make a plan to go back one day... But I promise when I'm done with the novel-length blog that this is turning into, I'll create a shorter version for you too.

Meanwhile, I'm living at my sister's house, and got on a massive cleaning spree yesterday. I Windexed and 409'd the crap out of her kitchen and downstairs, and the place looks all shiny-happy. If I'm borrowing her house, I may as well earn my keep, right? I think they may want me to mow the lawn at some point. Fun stuff, this domestic suburban life. I do miss my chinese delivery, though.

In other news, a boy is returning to NYC on Tuesday. I'm also slowly recovering from jet lag (I woke up at 6:30am instead of 4:30am this morning - progress!) and am working out fiendishly. I "ran" to town and back today (how far is that? It felt like 10 miles, but it was probably about 1.) I have decided that in general, I suck at running. I am much better at useless things like karate and dumb workout videos. But I do need to do a little work before I have to walk 39 miles in October. Oh, how I dream of an apartment big enough (and a wallet thick enough) to buy an elliptical machine!!! But my bro-in-law gave me a great training tip - run into town, then stop at the Starbucks, pick up a latte, and walk home. "It's a nice long cool-down" he says. Hee. I like his way of thinking.

My motivation: Brownies waiting back at the house. (The other motivation: the boy. (*grin*))

New blog for Africa

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The jet lag when traveling west is fabulous! I was up at 5:30am and have been terrifyingly productive this morning. I'm slowly making my way through the photos (thanks to my sister who said I could monopolize her computer for a while.) It's taking me a while to get through everything, so I've started a new blog for people who want the LONG version of my journey:

http://beth-in-africa.blogspot.com/

It took me two hours this morning to edit everything together for just the first two postings, so forgive me for the slow progress. But I'll be adding the days to my journey and I hope you find it an interesting read! Right now, I'm off to take a walk to town and run some errands before it gets too hot.
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Returning from the other side of the planet

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I have officially returned from the other side of the planet! I admit that I did attempt (once) to post a blog during the one day that I had internet access in Zimbabwe. But because of the political and economic strife there, the power was shut down while I was working on it and it never made it up.

Africa was - to unfairly summarize - indescribable. It was a trip of a lifetime, and it has moved me to the point where I'm still trying to grasp everything that I saw, felt, smelled, and ate. The animals were spectacular, the scenery was exotic and beautiful, and the people were some of the most moving I've ever met. Their stories are inspiring, tragic, hopeful, and humorous... and I will be sure to share them with you soon. I'm still having culture shock after being in the bush for several weeks, and the sheer opulence of the U.S. is rather startling after witnessing such poverty.

I took over 1200 photos, and I kept a journal through my trip, which I'm planning on sharing with you. For those of you who want the long version, I'll be working on it... but I'll also provide a Cliff Notes version to those with shorter attention spans. Stay tuned for that in the coming days.

First, though, I have to unpack my bag (yes, I made it under 26 pounds!), do laundry, get a few groceries (though my sister and bro-in-law left me one coffee yogurt in the fridge for this morning - dang, I love them so much!), and figure out how to get the 1200 photos off of my camera and into my 'puter... which is still in a box in the basement. But stay tuned, dear friends... life is getting interesting.
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