22 November 2006

The Turd - A Makeover Story

In the grand plan I have of making over my life, I've decided to re-do my faded / lopsided / fairly sad "tramp stamp" of a tattoo. For those of you who don't know what a "tramp stamp" is, I didn't either, until someone mentioned that to me a few days ago. Apparently, among the cool people of the world, it's a tattoo that is placed in the small area of the back. When I first got my tattoo there - over 10 years ago - it was a novel and unique place for a tattoo. It was easy to hide, won't stretch when I get fat, and I didn't have to look at it every moment. So it worked for me! Now, however, when I go to the gym, it seems that everyone has decided that this is a good place for a "stamp", and I no longer seem unique, but in fact, rather pedestrian. Now, it's cool to have your "tramp stamp" expanded into an artistic asymmetrical look that wraps partway around the waist, or up onto the back.

I am going to stick to symmetry, however... there's enough imbalance in my life already.

Which brings me to: The Turd:

The Turd was the name of my tattoo as christened by the tattoo artist (Dan) that I commissioned to redesign my 'stamp.' Okay, I knew it was rather sad looking. And I also knew that the artist who did the original work wasn't Michelangelo. (In fact, one word of advice when you get a tattoo: Make sure that the person *giving* it to you is sober.) And I don't think that Dan and his cronies really wanted me to know that they called it "The Turd" - it kind of slipped out during conversation. I didn't take it personally at the time, due to a combination of a) an attempt at being "cool" and b) being scared to death about getting another tattoo. I haven't been upset about it since, either because, well, the new one is so much better.

Dan took my old stamp, and turned it into an amazing work of art by simply incorporating the Turd into a new, most fabulous design. Here it is, in all it's red-and-angry-post-scarring glory:

It's not nearly as angry looking now - nearly 4 months later. It's a little less red, a little less swollen, but nonetheless still gorgeous. There may be some more touch up work to do... but doing too much more to "clean it up" makes me feel like one of those scary people with the plastic surgery addiction: "I swear, this will be the last time I have it tucked!"

But for now, it's no longer the Turd... and for the record, yes, it hurt like a *EDITED*.

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